I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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