oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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