yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
