i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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