He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
