i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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