i think my mom watched the whole time
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
