i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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