Are we in a gay sports bar?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
