Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
