The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
