mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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