Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
