They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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