He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
