He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize