My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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