She's JV to your varsity
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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