i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
