I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
