I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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