so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize