I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
