Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
