Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He shit in the fireplace
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
