She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
