At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
