By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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