His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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