Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
