she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
