I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
