So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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