I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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