I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
