Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
