I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
