the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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