He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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