am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
