well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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