my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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