dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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