Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
