were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
