I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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