so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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