we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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