omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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