okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
