i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
