making cat noises will not fix the situation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
