Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize