now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
