Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
