Dual....:-)
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
