Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
