Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
