They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize