I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
