There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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