Duck Duck Cougar?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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