dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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