Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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